i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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