i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
