Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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