You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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