Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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