Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
