Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
