my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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