even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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