so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
