my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Operation Purity has been aborted
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm at about main and main street
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
