Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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