There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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