bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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