i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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