yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
