i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
