Cold hands, warm shart.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
