I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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