just tell him i said nine months
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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