did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We are two peas in an std pod
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
