Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
