these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
