My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She is in my trunk
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
