Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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