ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
