Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
