I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
