Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
