I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
