I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
