your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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