actually, I'm a sock model
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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