SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
