I should be sponsored by Trojan
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
