You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
