apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
