I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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