i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
