Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
