Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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