I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
