when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
