my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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