Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
