My friends, they love my intelligence
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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