Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
