Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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