she takes plan B like it's going out of style
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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