You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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