So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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