ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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