She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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