Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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