he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you made out with another girl for some wings
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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