My friends, they love my intelligence
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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