what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
