I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
