I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sponge bath it is.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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